To me, nothing says a good time at the movies like gory camp. I need explosions, decapitation, and sexually exploited hot chicks just as much as I need Oscar-worthy monologues. So, when I heard of Robert Rodriguez’s plan to turn his trailer for Machete into a feature-length film, I knew I would be in for a treat.
Machete is a revenge story that follows its title character (Danny Trejo), a former Federale, from Mexico to Texas after he runs into some trouble with a drug lord (Steven Seagal). As an illegal immigrant, he has very few opportunities to make money until he is hired by a man named Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), an ultra conservative politician whose campaign rests on the promise to keep immigrants from crossing the border by building an electric fence. Machete accepts the $150,000 job and gifts the money to Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a taco truck owner working to secure illegal immigrants in Texas. When the time comes to off McLaughlin, another sniper hits the senator instead, framing Machete. With the help of Luz, Agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), Padre (Cheech Marin), and a slew of immigrants, Machete sets out on a mission to take down Booth and his conspirators. What I appreciate most about this film is that it is completely self-aware, hitting the mark with its trashy costumes, slapstick violence, and pulpy score. Never once does it try to take itself seriously. Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis nail it with their cast as well (Lindsey Lohan as a promiscuous lush seeking vengeance in a nun costume, anyone?), which only adds to Rodriguez’s trademark stylized vision.
Though Machete accomplishes what it sets out to, it is held back by its frivolous subplots. I found myself wanting less story and more bloody dismemberment to enhance the inherently campy nature. By the final showdown, the film’s flare turns stale and feels forced, causing the audience to start checking the time. Machete ultimately exhausts itself.
If you’ve been looking forward to checking out Rodriguez’s newest, don’t hesitate. However, if watching human intestines be used as a rope to rappel down a building isn’t your idea of fun, you’re better off staying home.
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